Vampires are everywhere today, aren’t they?
We have vampire movies, vampire books, vampire diaries…and don’t even get me started on the Twilight series that is all the rage for the pre-teen and teenage set. The media is saturated with all things vampire.
Of course, vampires aren’t regulated just to movies and books. There are vampires living among us right now, and you may even count them among your friends and family.
No, I haven’t spent too much time watching HBO – maybe you’ve guessed; I’m talking about energy vampires or emotional vampires.
While I don’t know who originally coined the term, it is spot on when talking about certain people. They just suck the life right out of you. Your positive energy, your good mood, your motivation and inspiration – all gone after you’ve spent a little time with an emotional vampire. Learning how to avoid and overcome their negative energy field needs to be a part of your personal development toolbox.
How to Spot an Emotional Vampire
It is easy to pinpoint the emotional vampires in your life. You only have to pay attention to your mood and inner dialogue to know who is bringing you down and who is lifting you up.
Emotional vampires leave you feeling…
• Deflated
• Tired
• Negative
• Angry
• Scared
• Sad
Think of it this way…everyone gives off energy. It can be positive energy, or it can be negative energy. And those around us absorb the energy we give off. It impacts how they perceive the world and can ultimately change their inner dialogue. This is why it is so important to overcome the feeling of obligation we may have to feed the emotional vampire.
For example, let’s say you have a friend who always responds negatively. You ask her how her day is, and she answers with a litany of wrongs she has had to endure. Naturally, you feel bad and want to support your friend. You try all manner of ideas to cheer her up and help her out. But it is always the same. Life is just never good to her…in her eyes at least.
I know you want to be a good friend, but at some point, you have to recognize that your friend doesn’t want to be happy. By continually focusing on her negative energy, you run the risk of letting that negativity overcome your life as well. And once you have let negative energy take you over, you can kiss goodbye your business success and prosperity.
Overcome Negative Energy
Ultimately, there is no cure for emotional vampires. No wood stake or silver bullet is going to turn them into positive people. The harsh truth is that many unhappy people revel in their unhappiness. They wear it like a badge of honor and unless they are willing to make a change themselves, there is nothing you can do to help.
Emotional vampires drain your positive energy because they…
• Enjoy attention.
• Are so unhappy that they can’t stand to see others good fortune.
• Are jealous.
• Feel like life must always have ‘drama.’
• Want to control others.
• Are emotionally needy.
The best way to overcome emotional vampires is to avoid them in the first place. Obviously, there are some people that you simply cannot avoid such as family members and co-workers. However, you can limit your interactions with these people. If you know someone who always complains when you ask about his or her day, stop asking about it. Doing so only feeds their behavior.
Now, I am not talking about the friend who is going through a rough patch in life. By all means, give your friend going through a divorce or your co-worker who just lost his mom a shoulder to cry on. Please don’t disappear on these folks when they need you most.
Who I am talking about is the person that has been going through that ‘rough patch’ for years. The one who, day in and day out never has anything positive to say. The one who, is always critical, controlling, or manipulative. If someone never brings positive energy into your life, then they are an emotional vampire.
It’s time to dislodge the fangs and take a step back. When they stop getting the response from you they crave, they will disappear. No garlic needed!
Image via Flowery *L*u*z*a* on Flickr
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